this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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