you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
