So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
