Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
