I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All I want is dick and wine.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Help. Why am I so naked?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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