Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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