i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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