There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
