Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't think brook has ever known best
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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