i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
