There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
