I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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