She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize