Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
