All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize