I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
false alarm, still single
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
