We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
