um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
