i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
