let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Terrible idea I love it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
