The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
