he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
