Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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