Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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