what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
