Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
