What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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