we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
