if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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