we have pet lesbian snakes
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
