He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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