let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
