Welp...herpes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
