my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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