i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize