We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
