I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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