No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
