I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
