I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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