I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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