okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
