dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
