It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
