He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
