HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
