When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
