can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
