So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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