Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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