dude i'm inner monologue high
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
