I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
