College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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