im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
