Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't turn off my feet"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
