I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize