Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
