how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize