We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
